


Mute? Or Just Scared?

by Wizzy



Series: We're A Great Pair (Ouran High School Host Club Love Stories) [4]
Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Baking, F/M, Fear, Manga, Mute - Freeform, Secret Crush, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 03:25:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4903780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wizzy/pseuds/Wizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the moment I met you, I knew you were something special. Little did I know, I would soon fall in love with you.</p><p>Suzu is mute. Or at least, that's what everyone thinks. Never saying a word to anyone, she goes through school almost like a ghost. No one sees what she's really feeling, all they can see is her fake smile. But then she transfers to Ouran Academy. At first, she's excited to have a chance to start over. Then she realizes that changing is whole lot harder than she thought it would be. Will she ever be able to open up to anyone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Harder Than I Thought

I'm not good with people. They kinda scare me. Maybe that's why I can't talk to them. Even when I want to, no sound ever really comes out. So as far as everyone else knows, I'm mute.

Well, the proper term would be 'selective mute.' I physically can talk, but whenever I try to talk to anyone, no sound comes out. I am able to talk to my parents just a little bit, but other than that I can't. Thanks to that, my voice is very weak and sometimes it hurts to talk when I can.

But despite all that, I want to change. I want to be able to talk to people, to make friends. That is why I've decided that I want to attend Ouran Academy. This is my first time being in a school that wasn't an all girl school. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely nervous.

When I was introduced to the class, I realized that this was going to be a lot harder than I'd originally thought. I'd tried to introduce myself and say something, but no sound came out. So the teacher had to go on and explain that I couldn't talk. That was the most embarrassed I'd ever been in my entire life. Maybe changing yourself is a lot harder than it sounds.

Anyway, back to the present. I was looking for somewhere quiet. After how today was, I just wanted to be alone to read my favorite Manga and sing to myself. Sure, singing usually hurt after a couple songs, but I loved to sing. It was the one part of me that I never wanted to change. Without it, I probably would have completely lost my voice a long time ago.

Clutching my book tightly, I wandered through the halls, searching for an abandoned room. When I came to the door of Music Room 3, it seemed like a good place. There wasn't any sound coming from the room, so that was a good sign. I checked the bottom of the door. No light on, or so it seemed.

With a smile, I turned the doorknob. When I stepped inside, what I found surprised me. The room was definitely not empty. Standing there in front of me, were seven boys that I didn't know.


	2. The Host Club

I just stood there. Even if I physically could have said something, I think I would have been too surprised to say anything anyway. “Oh my, it seems we have a new guest.” The blonde boy who had spoken walked over to me.

Instinctively, I backed away with every step he took. When a brown haired boy noticed this, he grabbed the blond one's arm. “You're scaring her,” he explained before the other had a chance to ask why.

 _Thank you._ I tried to say the words, but no sound came out. So instead I just looked down at my feet. Not wanting them to realize how embarrassing this is for me.

“Could you say that a little louder?” That was the brown haired boy's voice. I wish I knew his name.

I merely shook my head. If no sound came out the first time, it wouldn't the second time.

“You must be Suzu Akashima, the transfer from... Lobelia, correct?” a dark haired boy asked, pushing up his glasses. I merely nodded and let him continue. But before he could, a little blonde boy jumped in front of me.

“How come you won't talk to us, Suzu-chan?” I looked desperately to the boy with glasses. Silently, I was begging for him to help me. If he knew my name, then shouldn't he know about this issue?

“The answer to that would be that she can't. Miss Akashima is a mute.”

I nodded my head, confirming what the boy had said. “Well, Akashima, what type of guys are you into?” Before I even knew what was going on, an arm was around my shoulder. My instant reaction was to jump and drop the book I'd been holding. It was a manga that I was quite fond of, though I'd gotten some weird looks at Lobelia for reading it. Then again, it was easy to understand why.

As I pulled myself out of the blonde's grip and reached down to pick my book up, someone had beaten me to it. A little blonde boy had picked it up and was about to look at it. Panicking slightly, I snatched it back as quick as I could. However, I was a little late.

A pair of twins had seen the picture on the cover. “Why were there two girls on the cover?” they asked at the exact same time. It was kinda creepy. “Is that a naughty manga?”

“I know Lobelia girls tend to be into other girls-” one started saying.

“-but I'd never expected someone so innocent looking to swing that way.” the other finished the sentence. Again, kinda creepy.

And cue faceplam. I let out a sigh and showed them the cover. Better they judge me for what it really is rather than something that was way wrong.

“Corpse Party? Seems like there would be a dead person on the cover rather than two girls...”

“So you're into scary stuff, huh?” I shook my head. Scary stuff wasn't really my thing, but I didn't see this as scary.

I looked down at the ground, clutching the book tightly. This reminded me a bit of my time at Lobelia. These were memories I really wanted to forget about. Before any of them had a chance to ask or even notice my troubled expression, I was already out the door and headed down the hall. I ducked into the first empty room I could find, Music Room 1. Odd that the 2nd and 3rd Music Rooms were used, but not the first.


	3. Dreams To Dream

The empty music room was nice and quiet. This was exactly what I'd been wanting. After putting in my headphones and starting a song at random, I found a nice comfy chair to curl up in and read my manga. The song that played first made me smile.

Such a pretty song, I could only hope that my voice at least sound even on tenth as pretty when I sang it. Of course, I couldn't say for sure if I sounded good or not since no one has ever heard me sing.

 

_Dreams to dream_

_In the dark of the night_

_When the world goes wrong_

_I can still make it right_

_I can see, so far in my dreams_

_I'll follow my dreams_

_Until they come true_

 

I was singing in time as I let the world around me fade. No one could take this from me. No one even knew that the girl who can't talk loved to sing. Soon I wasn't even paying attention to the words I was reading.

 

_Come with me_

_You will see what I mean_

_There's a world inside_

_No one else ever sees_

_You will go, so far in my dreams_

_Somewhere in my dreams_

_Your dreams will come true_

 

After a moment, I simply set my book down and just let myself get lost in the song. This was when I felt the most free. These few precious moments that I could be alone and not have to be afraid of what others think or have to worry what they'll do. Here was where I was happy.

Music was the one thing that made me safe. It was the only thing that made me truly happy. When I sang, it was the only time when I could truly be myself.

 

_There is a star_

_Waiting to guide us_

_Shining inside us_

_When we close our eyes_

_Don't let go_

_If you stay close to me_

_In my dreams tonight_

_You will see what I see_

_Dreams to dream_

_As near as can be_

_Inside you and me_

_They always come true_

 

As the song ended, I still had a smile on my face. This was the one part of me that I would never ever change. This feeling, it was one that I wanted to keep forever. This was my most treasured secret; a secret that I would never let anyone see.

But fate often likes to be a major pain in the rear.

When the sing was over, I heard what sounded like someone clapping and voices. I instantly froze.

 _No... Please no..._ No one could know my secret. My secret that I am just really a defective girl who is too scared to talk to even my own parents.

After finally working up the courage to turn around, I saw who had seen me. Even worse, they  _heard_ me. Standing there behind me were the same seven boys I'd just run into earlier. And all but two of them were smiling at me. I'm not sure I even want to know what they're thinking...


	4. Found Out

I stood there, unsure what to do. What could I do? They knew my secret now. This strange group of boys knew that I could talk. They probably thought the whole mute thing was just an act. Regardless of how nervous and scared I was feeling, I fought the urge to cry.

“You know, Kyoya-senpai-”

“-I thought you said she was mute.” The twins were speaking in that creepy way again. At this point I could only hope that this Kyoya person knew more about my issue.

“Miss Akashima is what you would call a selective mute.” I looked over to see the boy with glasses talking. He must have been Kyoya. “That means even if she can talk, she is still unable to do so around certain groups of people. For her it is people in general. Her parents are hardly an exception to that. However the cause of this is currently unknown.”

“We should have her sing at the Host Club!” the taller blonde shouted excitedly. Apparently he hadn't been paying any attention to what Kyoya had said.

“Tamaki-senpai, I don't think that's a good idea,” the brown haired boy said to him. At least one of them was on my side.

Of course, this Tamaki guy wasn't giving up that easy. “It is a wonderful idea!” He kept going on and on about it until the smaller blonde stepped in.

“That's not very nice Tama-chan,” he told the older-looking boy. “Suzu-chan is too scared to talk to us, so singing would only be harder for her.” For being so small, he sure was smart. And pretty mature. It made me wonder just how old he really was. “It wouldn't be nice to make her do it.”

Tamaki seemed stunned. Was this out of character for this kid? To me, it was a bit of a shock to see someone sticking up for me. If it weren't for the whole mute thing, I would say I was speechless.

After a few whispered words among the boys, they slowly began to leave. None of them said a word, which confused me. But me being how I am, I just brushed it off and wandered back to where I'd left my book. As I made my way back to the door, I noticed the really tall guy and the little blonde boy were still here.

Wondering why they were still here, I walked up to the duo.  _Why are you here?_ I tried to say the words, but once again nothing came out. However, the taller one seemed to pick up on what I wanted to say.

“She wants to ask why we haven't left, Mitsukuni,” the tall one said. So the little one was Mitsukuni? Huh... Mitsukuni... that has a nice sound to it.

The one called Mitsukuni smiled and answered the question for the two of them. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. Tama-chan gets a little carried away sometimes.”

Mitsukuni's voice was sweet and gentle, like a child's. Wait... how old is he? I mean, he looks really young, but he is wearing a high school uniform. Maybe a really young looking first year? Or maybe he's a genius who skipped a few years of school?

Without realizing it, I was now staring at him. When he gave me a confused look, I looked away, embarrassed. Sometimes not being able to talk really was the worst. I couldn't explain why I was staring or ask what I wanted to know. I really should start carrying around a notebook again...

Thinking up and excuse, I decided try to ask their names. Flipping through my book, I searched for the word “name.” When I found it, I showed it to them and pointed to each of them, hoping they would get the hint. Lucky for me, they did.

Mitsukuni introduced his friend as Takashi Morinozuka. His own name was Mitsukuni Haninozuka. I had heard of those two families before. The Haninozukas and Morinozukas were famous for martial arts. Unless you were a commoner, you'd have to be a complete idiot not to know that.

As they turned to leave, I grabbed Mitsukuni's sleeve. Even though I really wanted to say something, I knew I couldn't. So I just settled for mouthing the two words I wanted to tell him. He just smiled at me and left.

_Thank you._


	5. Miracle

All through the rest of that day, I found my thoughts drifting back to how he had stuck up for me. Even the next day, my mind kept going back to that little moment.

As I was thinking about it now, a few startled screams snapped me back to reality. Most of the girls in the class, and a few of the guys, were pretty freaked out by something crawling around on the floor. It wasn't until it ran past my desk that I figured out what it was. A mouse.

It was just a little mouse. One of those cute little ones that you see in pet shops that people usually buy to feed to pet snakes and other things like that. Of course, these people didn't see it as cute. They all either didn't care or thought it was disgusting. I happen to be an animal lover, so I decided I would be the one to take of this. But before I could even move, one of the guys in the class had a similar idea. But his was much less nicer than the one I'd had.

He was going to step on the little guy. There was no way I would let that happen. In just a few seconds, I reached out and grabbed the little mouse. Just as I'd gotten him out of the way, the boy's foot came down on my wrist. Luckily, I didn't lose my grip on the mouse.

Ignoring the rest of the class staring at me, I held the little fellow up to see if he was hurt. He seemed unusually calm, so it was likely one of those mice you get from the pet store. Someone probably just bought him for a prank or something. The people here definitely did not seem like the types to have a mouse for a pet.

Seeing that he was alright, I gave him a little scratch behind his ear. “Miss Akashima, if you wouldn't mind, I'll let you handle getting rid of it. Seeing as you're an animal expert.” Saying that I was an animal expert was a bit of an exaggeration, but I would much rather have had the task left to me rather than anyone else. You see, I'm an animal lover. I'm naturally really good with animals too.

 

After carrying the mouse outside the school, I found myself getting kind of attached to the little guy. At home, I didn't really have any pets except some fish. Red Belly X-Ray Tetras to be exact. They are a really neat type of fish, since you can see right through their skin and scales. There were three named Tiny, Fin and Hex. Hex was the biggest and was usually off on his own. Tiny was the smallest and was constantly following Fin around. They were such an adorable trio.

“Maybe I'll just keep you,” I whispered to the little creature in my hand. The school day was almost over, so I decided not to go back to class. Maybe not the smartest thing to do, being a new student and all, but I didn't care. I had just made myself a new friend.

“What are you doing out here by yourself?” a boy's voice said, startling me. Turning in the direction of it, I noticed a boy wearing a different uniform than the other boys. It still had the Ouran logo, so my guess was he was in middle school. I motioned towards my furry friend in my hand. “A mouse? I don't think you're supposed to have pets in school.”

I just shrugged and held the mouse out towards the boy and giving it a little scratch behind his ear, silently asking the boy if he wanted to pet him. The boy hesitated before reaching over and running a finger over the mouse's head.

“What are you two up to?” a voice called to us, making the boy take a few steps back. It was a girl I recognized from my class. Couldn't remember her name though. She noticed the mouse still in my hands and glanced over at the strange boy. “Hmm... does the oh-so-strict-and-tough Karate Club Captain have a soft spot for the cute little creatures?”

He didn't even hesitate to respond to her. “No!” I couldn't help but think he answered that a little too quickly. It was obvious he was lying about that. But if he really was the captain of the Karate Club, I guess he would have to maintain some sort of reputation.

I offered him the mouse again with a smile. He glanced back and forth between the mouse in my hand and the girl who had walked up to us. After a minute or so of this, he gave in and started petting the little guy again.

The girl grinned and introduced herself. “The name's Taiga Mukoro.” She put a hand on the boy's shoulder. “If he hasn't told you already, this is Yasuchika Haninozuka. But we all call him Chika. Of course, you probably don't need to know that. Not that you can talk anyway, right?”

“She can't talk?”

“Nope. Teacher made it very clear that she couldn't,” Taiga explained for me. She scratched the little mouse behind the ear before realizing that she hadn't told him my name. “Her name's Suzu Akashima. She just transferred here from... what was it... Lobelia Girls Academy, right?” I nodded.

 

“So you're going to keep the mouse?” Chika asked after Taiga had explained what had happened in class. I merely nodded.

“You got a name for him?” Taiga asked a good question. After a minute of thought, I knew exactly what to call him.

“Kiseki.” I don't know what shocked them more, the meaning of the name I'd chosen or the fact that I'd actually spoken his name without even thinking.

Kiseki meant miracle. It was the most fitting word for him. The fact that I had actually spoken his name only made it more fitting. Little Kiseki was my miracle.


	6. The Tiger And The Bell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is a reference to the girls' names.

Since I'd spoken in front of Taiga and Chika, I had to explain everything. And by explaining, I mean I wrote it down and showed it to them. The only reason I'd been able to say Kiseki's name was because I hadn't thought about it when I'd done it. So I didn't even know I was saying it until I'd said it.

But I had made it clear that I wanted to change that. That part seemed to interest the two. Both Taiga and Chika agreed to help with that. Though I wasn't entirely sure why those two would want to help me in the first place. I did have have a theory though.

Chika seemed to be fond of animals, but he seemed reluctant to admit it. I figure it was because he has to maintain a tough reputation. So maybe because I knew that, this was his way of making sure I kept that little bit of information to myself.

Taiga was the one I didn't know about. She was in the same class as me, but outside of that, I really knew nothing about her. But she seemed like someone I could trust.

It's been three days since the day I met them. Every day, Taiga would meet me before school. She would talk to me and I would try to talk back. So far, there had been little progress. But I was slowly growing more and more used to Taiga being around.

“So you still haven't been to the Host Club?” she asked me as we were walking through the hallways. To be honest, I hadn't even known there was a Host Club. I didn't even know what a Host Club was. We didn't have anything like that at Lobelia.

I shook my head while mouthing the word no. That had been on of Taiga's ideas. If I could get myself used to saying the words without the sound, it would make it easier when I tried to add the sound to the words. I wasn't entirely sure if it would actually work, but it was worth a try.

“Then the two of us will go right now!” she laughed, linking her arm with mine and dragging me off. As she dragged me along, she described the Hosts for me. “Kyoya's the cool type, he's always really calm. Tamaki's the princely type. He says a bunch of cheesy lines that make most of the girls go nuts. Then there are the twins. They have the little twincest, brotherly love thing they do. And there's Honey and Mori. Honey is so sweet and loves cake. And Mori hardly ever speaks, but he looks after Honey kinda like a big brother.”

Her explanations were very simple. I didn't really know any of them, though a couple names sounded familiar. Couldn't quite remember where I'd heard them before though. “Since this is your first time and you're kinda shy and all, I'd recommend Kyoya or Honey and Mori. Which one do you want?”

 

We ended up picking Honey and Mori. When I'd first come here, I'd had no idea that it was the Host Club. My first day here and I'd walked right into it without even knowing it. That explained why the names had sounded familiar to me. Though I was quite shocked when I realized who Honey and Mori were.

“Hi Suzu-chan!” Mitsukuni's cheerful voice greeted me. I was a little surprised by how childish his voice sounded now compared to how it had been before. Though I guess the situation before had been a little different. “You aren't going to read your scary manga today?”

I flinched a little when he mentioned that. No one really knew about that I read those. I hadn't even to Taiga about that.  _It's not a scary manga..._ I mouthed the words, but only Takashi seemed to notice.

“You know them Suzu? You didn't tell me that,” Taiga laughed, poking my shoulder.

 _I didn't know._ Taiga noticed my response this time and handed me her notebook and pencil so I could write out what I wanted to say.

After awhile of talking (and writing), I began to realize that this side of Mitsukuni was quite adorable. Of course, it was strange to me because he'd seemed different when I'd first met him. I wanted to ask about it, but I had a feeling it would be better not to ask.

As I thought about it more, I began wondering which of the two he really was. Could this childish and cute boy be the real Mitsukuni? Or was it the kind, mature one his real self? Regardless, I found I liked him.

“Hey Suzu, are you blushing?” Taiga's voice teased, causing me to let slip a startled squeak. She just laughed at me as I realized that I had been. “Hehe... Does our little Suzu have a crush on a certain host sitting with us?” I gave her a glare before denying it.

Taiga let it go, but I was certain she would bring it up later. But she didn't mention it. “Oh yeah, were you still meeting with you-know-who after this?” she asks, reminding me of my plans for today.

Before I could answer her, it seemed like she'd caught the attention of the cute blonde boy. “Who are you meeting today, Suzu-chan?” If he were anyone else, you might think that statement would make him sound jealous. But since he had that sweet and innocent personality, it was merely innocent curiosity. Though I didn't really want to say who it was.

“Oh just a friend of hers. A  _guy_ friend,” Taiga said tauntingly, causing Mitsukuni to give her a puppy dog face.

“Aww... it's not nice to tease Tai-chan.”

 _I promised I wouldn't tell anyone I was meeting up with him. I'm supposed to help him with homework._ I quickly wrote out the explanation, which was only half true.

Chika had made me promise not to tell anyone about us meeting. But really, there were two reasons were meeting up. The main reason being that he was teaching me a little karate. At Lobelia, we hadn't had a Karate Club, and I'd never really had much of a chance to learn on my own before.

If I wanted to, I could bribe Chika into it by threatening to tell everyone about his fondness for cute animals. But I wasn't like that. Which leads us to the other reason we would meet: Kiseki. Chika had liked him and after he was done teaching me for the day, we head back to my house with Taiga and see Kiseki. We'd only done this twice of course, since I'd only been here about a week now.

 

As Taiga walked with me to meet Chika, she had an idea. “Hey Suzu, why don't we have ourselves a little girls night? You know, like a sleepover.”

I hesitated. At Lobelia, I'd never really had any friends. So I'd never really done anything like that before. The closest I'd ever come to anything like that was reading little scenes like that in a manga.

Noticing my hesitation and guessing the issue like normal, Taiga knew what to say to convince me. “It's be fun, I promise. You can even bring Kiseki too.” I smiled and nodded before running off to meet my other friend.


	7. Girls Night

Our “girls night” didn't happen until two weeks later. Over those two weeks, not much happened. Taiga continued to help me as she'd promised; I met with Chika every day, this became my normal.

Kiseki was running around me and Taiga as we sat on her bedroom floor. “I still can't believe you managed to catch him so easily. He's so quick for such a little guy.”

 _I'm just naturally fast._ Even with as close as the two of us had gotten over the last two weeks, I still didn't talk to her. I was content with writing everything I wanted to say. Of course, I knew that sooner or later, there would be someone that I would want to talk to.

“Hey,” asked Taiga as Kiseki ran up and over my leg. “Is there someone that you're interested in? You know, like a certain guy you've got your eye on.”

It was an odd question to me. Until I started going to Ouran, I'd barely known any guys other than my father and anyone who worked with my family. Though for her, it probably seemed like a normal question.

But even if it was weird to me, it had an answer.  _Yes._

It may have been a better to lie and say there wasn't anyone, but I've never been much of a liar. Of course, admitting that there was someone only gave Taiga an excuse to ask more questions. “Who's the lucky guy?”

I didn't really want to tell her, but I had a feeling that she wouldn't give up until I told her. As I reached for my notebook, she pushed it just out of my reach. So instead of writing it out, I mouthed the name she wanted me to say.

“What was that?” Taiga gave me a playful smile as I picked up Kiseki and gave him a small scratch behind his ear. “Couldn't hear you.”

Slightly irritated, I set my little pet down so I could reach for my notebook. But Taiga kept it out of reach. “Nope! You've gotta say it out loud.” In an attempt to force me to say it, she scooped up the little white mouse and held him close to her chest. “You can't have Kiseki back until you say it.”

When I just silently stared at her, she just frowned. “Come on, we're pals, right?” I nodded, making Taiga give me a mischievous grin. “Then you can at least say just one little word for me. After that you can go back to playing mute.”

Still staying silent, I just looked at her for a few minutes. I know she meant well by forcing me to actually speak, but that didn't make it any easier. With a sigh, I decided to just get it over with. But I wasn't going to give her his full name, not when it was who it was. “Haninozuka.”

After saying it, I immediately reached for Kiseki. But Taiga just frown and moved him away from my outstretched hand. “Not fair,” she told me. “Full name.”

When I said nothing, she just kept pushing it. “There are hundreds of Haninozukas out there.” Hundreds? Sure, there may be a lot, but I doubted there were really that many. “Give me the first name.”

 _Guess there's no way out of this one..._ I thought to myself before sighing and giving in. “Mitsukuni Haninozuka.”

“The boy lolita, huh?” Her reaction was a lot calmer that I'd expected.“I didn't think you'd go for that type, but I can kinda see it. You're both really sweet and innocent.”

When I didn't say anything, she began talking again. “You probably would never guess, but I've had my eye on Kasanoda.” Taiga laid back and rested her head on her arms. “Hard to believe that the fierce Taiga would actually have romantic feelings, but I'm human too. You know what I mean?”

“I know exactly what you mean...”

The moment the words left my lips, Taiga bolted right up and stared at me with wide eyes. “You just said more than two words!”

“Yeah.”

“You spoke again!” Her excitement over just a few little words was actually quite funny.

“I know.”

Setting Kiseki back down and letting him run over to where I sat, Taiga asked a question that no one ever bothered to ask me. “How come you don't talk normally?”

“It hurts if I talk to much.” I said softly, mainly to avoid straining my voice. This was the most I'd spoken in a long time, so my voice wasn't anywhere near used to being used this much. Even when I sang to myself, I usually stayed quiet. “And it's hard to talk to most people.”

“But once you get used to them, then it's okay?”

I hadn't actually thought about it like that before, but she was completely right. “A little bit, yes.”

“Since you're talking to me, I assume that means you've gotten used to me.” I nodded, signaling for Taiga to continue talking. “So what about Chika? Do you think you've gotten used to him enough to talk to him?”

That was a good question. The two of us didn't exactly talk as much as Taiga and I did, but I did feel closer to him than any of Ouran's other students. “I guess so.”

From there, talking went on for awhile. Well, Taiga did most of the talking. With my voice not being that strong for now, I had to limit myself. Regardless, I'd finally made some real progress in changing myself.

“How about this?” Taiga said, suddenly changing the subject from its previous topic of what guys in our year were complete jerks and which ones were actually decent. So far the most decent was a some cowardly guy in class 1-A. The worst was the guy in our class who tried to step on Kiseki. “I help you get your guy; you help me with mine. Sound like a deal?”

“Deal.”


	8. Sad Stories

That night, I kept talking with Taiga. At least, I did until I could feel my voice starting to go out on me. After that I swapped back to writing in my notebook. Taiga was disappointed at first, but after I explained the issue, she was okay with it.

“Hey Suzu,” she asked me as she stared up at the ceiling. “Why did you stop talking to people in the first place? I mean, you couldn't have been this quiet all of your life or else you wouldn't be able to talk at all.”

That wasn't a question that I'd been expecting. To be honest, I really didn't want to answer. If I'd had a choice, I'd love to forget every bit of it. Taiga was my friend though. This wasn't exactly something that was easy for me to talk about, but in the time I'd come to know Taiga, I felt comfortable enough to talk to her.

 _For a long time, all they ever did was hurt me,_  I wrote. Taking a deep breath to keep my nerves calm, I began to write it all out. Since it was a bit of a long story, I tried to keep it short and simple.

_Sometime during the middle of my elementary years, all the girls decided to start picking on me. In the beginning, I was able to ignore it. But when I got into middle school, it grew worse. It started as just harmless insults, but then it grew into accusations of being an unholy monster, followed by tidal waves of jokes about those creatures directed at me, most of which were rarely said right to my face._

For a moment, I stopped writing to stretch my hand a moment before writing the last bit.  _Over time, I started talking less and less. Until one day I almost stopped completely._

“That's awful...” Taiga's words echoed my own thoughts. It made me want to smile, but because this was such a serious topic, I restrained myself. “No one should ever be treated that way. I mean, it's not like you did anything to them to deserve that.”

 _As far as I remember, I've done anything to hurt anyone,_  I wrote. My memory was usually quite good, so I doubted I'd ever even considered doing anything to hurt any of them. But some people never need a reason for the things they do.

 _The never physically did anything to me._ After I wrote that, I immediately crossed it out and wrote something else.  _They did throw balls of paper at me._ Thinking a moment, I scribbled down a bit more.  _And piece of hard candy once. I heard it bounce off the wall when it missed me. It was one they'd gotten from the teacher that day._

“Those jerks! You really should have kicked their asses!” Taiga's reaction made me smile. It was nice to have have someone on my side for once. But as to her comment about hurting them in return, all I could do was shake my head. “Why not?”

 _It wouldn't have made me any different than them if I had,_ I wrote, smiling as Kiseki ran up and sat down on my notebook. Taking revenge on them would only make me as bad as they were.  _If I just push past it and don't let it get me down, then that makes me stronger than them._

“But... doesn't that hurt you?”

I just nodded, leaving us in silence. Wanting to get away from such a depressing topic, I tried to think of something to do.  _I know, let's do something fun._

Taiga sat up. “I've got a better idea.” As she spoke, a smile spread across her face. “Cookies sound pretty awesome right now. What do you say to going to find some?”

 _Even better idea: Let's make_   _them instead._

The smile on my best friend's face quickly shifted to look of surprise. “Are you any good at that?”

 _Second best in Japan._  As I wrote the words, I added a cute smiley face. Baking was one of the small number of things that I was good at. My family's bakery was actually pretty famous and I often helped out when I wasn't in school. Actually, it was more my father's, since my mother wasn't any good with that sort of thing and usually stayed away from anything related to it.

“Second best? Who's first then?”

 _My dad is._  Barely a second passed before I got another brilliant idea.  _Why don't we make some for Kasanoda and the guys at the Host Club too?_

Before I'd even finished writing it, she was thrilled with the idea. “That's a great idea!” Taiga pulled me into a sort of sideways hug. In a way, I felt like she was saying 'you're brilliant Suzu.' Even if her words didn't say it directly, the feeling in what she would say was the same. “Honey really likes sweets, so it's sure to score you some points!”

It had merely just been a kind gesture, so I hadn't even considered that. But as Taiga and I got to work, I couldn't help but smile at her words.


	9. Second Best

Taiga and I were excited about sharing our creations with Kasanoda and the members of the Host Club. Luckily, they weren't entertaining their guests today so that they could plan a party. Normally they wouldn't have met with anyone outside of the club members, but somehow Taiga managed to convince them.

“Did you really make all these, Suzu-chan?” cheerful little Mitsukuni said, taking one of the cookies.

As I nodded, Taiga explained for me. “Suzu was teaching me and we ended up having so much fun that we ended up making way too much,” she laughed. “So of course we thought of you guys!”

“These are really good,” Kasanoda said, looking over at me and Taiga. I still didn't know him all that well yet, but he seemed nice enough. Taiga had once told me that he looked scary and mean, but he was really a nice guy. However, he didn't look scary at all to me the first time I'd seen him.

Mitsukuni seemed to really enjoy the sweets. But he was very fond of all sweets, so it was hard to really tell. “They taste just like those really good ones that Kyo-chan gets for us!”

“That's because those come from the bakery owned by Miss Akashima's father,” Kyoya answered for me. As much as it made people uneasy for someone to know so much about them, I found it more helpful that Kyoya knew so much about me. “She often helps out with the baking. For obvious reasons, she doesn't usually work directly with the customers.”

“I thought the school doesn't allow you to have a job?” said one of the twins. Kaoru, I thought it was. But I hadn't quite been able to tell the two apart yet, so I could be wrong.

Taiga and I didn't know what to really say about that. I hadn't actually known that, although I should have. Luckily, Kyoya had an answer for that. “Because it is her father's bakery and she's merely helping out, rather than actually working. So it technically doesn't count as a job.”

“Seriously?” the twins said, talking in perfect synch. It was almost creepy how they could do that so flawlessly. “So in a way, this isn't the first time Suzu's made something for us?”

Kyoya pushed up his glasses in that way he always does. “It would be safe to assume that. So no, it's not the first time.”

“Wow, you must be really good at this, Suzu-chan!”

“Second best in Japan,” Taiga said, giving me a playful smile. “Right Suzu?”

I couldn't hold in a laugh. Unlike my usual, silent laugh, this one was actually kinda loud. Loud compared to my normal voice, anyway.

“What's so funny?” Tamaki asked before the others had a chance.

It took a minute for Taiga and I to recover from our laughing. “Inside joke.”


	10. Great Friends

_Taiga's late..._ I thought to myself. We'd always meet up before I met with Chika, but today she was late. Needless to say, this wasn't normal. Shortly after I decided to go looking for her, someone came running up to me. Though it wasn't Taiga.

“Sorry,” he apologized, slightly out of breath. I didn't understand why Kasanoda was apologizing until he spoke again. “Taiga had something she had to take care of and asked me if I'd come meet you since she can't.”

I smiled up at him and nodded.  _Thank you._ Remembering that he couldn't really understand me, I reached for my notebook. But it wasn't there. I'd forgotten it today.

“Something wrong?” Kasanoda asked as I frowned. I tried my best to ask if he had something to write on. He figured it out, but he had nothing. “I'm sorry, Taiga said not to bother because you always had something with you.”

With a sigh I tried to find a way to fix the problem. Even if I was okay with talking to Taiga a bit, I still hadn't gotten there quite yet with anyone else. The only reason I'd even been able to talk to her was because she'd pushed me to. But that wasn't enough to make me talk to others yet though.

Before I could come up with anything, Kasanoda spoke. “Taiga told me about how you can talk to her,” he said, his voice calm and gentle. I could tell he was trying hard to avoid scaring or upsetting me. “I know you barely know me and I'm a scary guy, but it's okay for you to talk to me.” He looked away from me for a moment. “If you don't want to, you don't have to. I wouldn't want to force you.”

I smiled. Ritsu Kasanoda was just like Taiga said he was. It made me wonder how anyone could think he was even the tiniest bit scary. Before I knew what I was even doing, I'd already spoken. “Thank you.”

Kasanoda's reaction might actually have been funnier than Taiga's. He probably didn't believe he'd heard what he thought he'd heard. “Did you just...?” For a moment, I didn't even realize that I had. But that didn't really matter because the stunned look on his face was absolutely hilarious.

I couldn't have stopped myself even if I'd wanted to; I started laughing. It was rare for me to laugh out loud, but right now I couldn't help it. In fact, I could even feel tears forming in the corner of my eyes. “You should see your face!” Since I'd pretty much stopped thinking for the moment, nothing was stopping me from saying anything that came to my mind. But it's still hard to speak when you're laughing so hard that you can barely breathe.

Kasanoda said nothing else and just stared until my laughing had ended. “You weren't thinking at all just now, were you?” he asked calmly. Now that I thought about it, I hadn't been. Guess that would explain why it was so easy for others to do; after all, I spent more time thinking than anything. Perhaps thinking less would mean I could talk more?

I shook my head. “I thought so.” Kasanoda smiled, though I wasn't exactly sure why. “You know, when you've got great friends like Taiga and Chika, you don't have to think so much. I don't mean you have to stop thinking, I just mean...” He stopped and scratched at the back of his head while he thought out what he wanted to say. “I guess as long as you're confident about it, then it doesn't matter if you're thinking or you're not.”

His words were a bit confusing, but I felt like I understood it.  _Just be confident, huh?_ It was actually a great idea. Not only did it make sense, but it was something I'd never even thought to try.

But as the two of us were talking about this, we'd forgotten something very important. I was supposed to go meet Chika. With Taiga having been late, I'd already been late before Kasanoda had shown up. Now I was even more late.

As the two of us ran, I made a mental note to make up for it later on.


	11. Confidence

What Kasanoda said stayed on my mind. If what he'd said was true, then as long as I was confident, then I should be able to talk to people. In theory, that should be true.

Considering that it was Sunday and I had no school, today I would be helping out at my father's bakery. This was the perfect opportunity to test that.

_Alright Suzu, it's time to break this shell!_

 

As I was organizing things, a familiar face entered the bakery. Mrs Suzumoto came in every Sunday morning and got the same things every time. So over time, I'd come to know this sweet old lady very well. This was the perfect opportunity.

 _Confidence, Suzu!_ I reminded myself as I felt my nervousness begin to creep in. Taking a deep breath, I tried my hardest to say something. “Good morning!”

“Good morning, Suzu,” Mrs Suzumoto said kindly. For a moment I wasn't sure any sound had come out when I'd spoken. But when I saw her eyes widen, I knew I'd succeeded. “You spoke!”

“I...” For a second, I'd almost slipped back to my usual self. But having been successful before and reminding myself of that, I felt my confidence grow. “I want to be able to talk with others.”

The old woman smiled at me. The one good thing about confidence: it could be contagious. It was clear that it had certainly affected Mrs Suzumoto. “Oh my, what brought about this sudden desire to talk?”

“Some very special friends of mine,” I explained, trying hard to hang on to that burst of confidence. Chika... Taiga... Kasanoda... I really wanted to be able to talk to them as easily as they could to me. “They mean the world to me.”

Impressed, the woman couldn't keep a smile off her face. “Well then, keep at it, dear,” she said. “Just remember to be confident.”

“Right!”


End file.
